I'd like a 10 year mortgage...for razor blades!!

Walked into Tesco today for batteries and walked by Gilette's new Fusion razor. 

Now I'm not one to buy the latest, multi-bladed, "even-closer", skin-hugging, plastic handed death stick, but this new Fusion thingy does look cool and I look terrible in beard! 

But when I got to the price, I quickly needed a trip to the underwear section!

Who are they kidding!?!?!?! How many people will fork out £20 for one razor and 4 blades? Someone with far to much money and not enough common sense, that's who.

Exactly why are these blades so expensive? Are they gold plated? Titanium plated?? Does it have an auto-shave feature?

Nope. None of that, just a razor that looks like the newest Power Ranger!!!

Well, for those of you dumb enough to buy these things, lets review some math. Shall we!?

One blade lasts one week. At £5 a blade, you will have spent £260 in a year just to shave!

Now if your married, the wife is always stealing the razor to shave various bits and pieces. 😁 So you now need 2 blades a week. Your now looking at £520 a year.

If, like me, you have very course hair on your face, one blade a week just can't cut it (pun definately intended!), ya need 2. Your annual shaving bill (minus other bits and pieces) is now £780 at Gillette Fusion prices!!

They must think people are dumber than a box of rocks. Do they honestly think people will pay that?

Guess what? They do! And you do!!! Sucker.

In the late 1800's, a straight (cut-throat) razor was given as a gift to men "coming of age". That single razor lasted them their entire lives.

They still sell them! Found one from a specialist store for £35 including all the funny little bits. With a lifetime warranty no less!

So....more math...the average male lives to 75-ish!? £780 x 57 (75 minus 18 years you don't shave as a kid!) = £44,460!!

So go down to your bank, and look the manager straight in the eye and tell him "..I need a mortgage for razor blades, because I'm to stupid to spend £35 on old shaving technology.."

While your doing that, I'll be buying a new pearl-handled straight razor. In fact, I'll take 2!